Millie’s Diary - Sept 26th 2008
This week has been quite hectic, Emilys Dad came over for a few days as he hasnt finished his job back in UK yet, Em was very excited and made a sign for him to see when he came through the doors at the airport and hugged him nearly to death when he did finally arrive, she told him she missed him alot and she had been waiting a long time for him, bless her.
We also bought a car, Em wanted a pink mini, but dad said no, I wonder why?
We have also tried to register with the local Health Centre, which hasnt been easy and still havnt done it completley as we now have to got to Arrecife to get Social Security number.
Arrecife has become the bain of my short life in Lanzarote, I hate driving there and always seem to get lost, Em says Im a wimp and to be brave, I hate back seat drivers.
Em loves shopping wether its food or clothes shopping, she will be up for it, the security guard in Hiper dina now knows Em and always speaks to her, also the waiters in our favourite resteraunt,Contins think shes great and tease her when ever we go in, I think she has a crush on one of them, she wont go anywhere else.Em has also been trying to speak Spanish, just the odd words like Hola, adios and Gracias and the other day she came out with Hasta Luego Amigo to the lady in the ice cream bar and of course she got a loveley reply from the lady.
We have also been with Guy Buske to sort out our NIE.NIF numbers and Em was quite worried at the Police Station as she thought she was going to be arrested, when it was all done she said it was amazing that we live here now.
Ems sister , Gemma is having a baby and we found out this week that its a little girl, Em is very excited about being an Aunty , but got quite fed up of me buying pink baby clothes, she said “I think that baby has got enough clothes now”.Em has given it 3 names so far, the first was SHREK, then it changed to LIGHTNING MQUEEN and yesterday she decided it was going to be called RASCAL, lets just hope Gemma has a different name in mind.
Em came out with something very surprising today, I was watching tv and they were talking about the poor mum who killed her Disabled daughter because she couldnt cope, Em said “thats a shame” I really think she understood what had happened.I say the poor mum as I do feel sorry for her, yes the little girl didnt deserve what had happened to her, but it can be very hard as I found out.I wished for a cot death, I prayed she would get so ill she would die, I was embarresed by her when she was a baby and became very depressed, I was 25 when I had Emily and all my friends were having normal babys, I so wished one of them would have a DS baby so I wasnt so alone with it all.The first time I took her to the clinic I ran out crying as it just didnt seem fair that I was the only one with a disabled baby, I never took her again.Life was very hard for me and this other poor mum must of been in a very bad place to of done what she did, she will have to live with this for the rest of her life, not only the fact that she gave birth to a disabled child , but also that she killed her child, no prison sentance can ever punish her as much as she is punishing herself, my heart goes out to her.
I must say these are my own thoughts and everyone is different, I was lucky, it took a long time, nearly 12 years for me to get over having Emily and now Im so proud of her,I love showing her off and taking her out , it takes time and you do have to take one day at a time to realise life isnt really that bad and that having a child with disabillities isnt the end of the world, its just a different world, but one that can give you alot of joy, if you let it.
I was lucky I saw an advert in our local paper from a mum of a DS little boy, she had started a group for YOUNG PARENTS OF DS KIDS, I phoned her and we have been friends ever since, we are very alike,her name is Tracey and she has been my rock over the years, we have laughed and cried together and been there for eachother most importantly, she is one of my closest friends.The group was started as most people think older mums have DS kids, but that isnt the case, the main age is 25 and I even know of a 16 year old teen having one, we are not all twin set and pearls type of people.
I hope people read this and realise the next time they see a mum with a special needs child, to say hello and chat for a while, we would much prefer that , than people to stare at us and feel sorry for us, we are all human, even our kids and they have the same feelings as you, they want to be liked and perhaps if you stop one day and say hello to that child , you may be surprised at what you hear.
DONT JUDGE BY LINDA LANDRUM.
I am like you on the inside,
My eyes may look different
but with them I see
My ears are small
but with them I hear your words,
that are spoken.
You can say those things to me.
I am just like you on the inside
So when you meet me out one day,
Don.t whisper and walk away,
Stop and talk and look me in the eye,
you may be surprised at my reply,
As Im just like you inside.
Caroline Crane
