Millie’s Diary - Sept 20th 2008
From the day Em was born she became my lifes ambition to make her as NORMAL as possible, I couldnt accept I had , had a Downs child and I became obbsessed with buying her everything to help her become a so called normal child, if it wasnt toys, it was clothes and boy did she have and still has alot of clothes, I dont think she ever wore many things twice, she had to be the preetiest and Trendiest Downs child alive.Everything was coordinated , from her clothes to hats to hairbands, she had to be perfect at all times.
Em was accepted at a private school at 2 years old and went there everyday till she was 3 and a half, where she then went to the reception class at a normal school where they had a Special class for special needs kids, this was the worst thing we did for her, we wanted her to be intergrated into normal school and in the end it didnt work and she had to go to a Special school at 9 years old which was very hard on me.You see for 9 years I had to fight to keep her in Normal school and all of a sudden it was taken away from me and I had to accept she was what she was and needed that much more help.
The first day of her Special needs school was awfull, we were taken to a class with other disabled kids in it and some were screaming and Em looked at me and said, “Whats wrong with that girl mummy”, that was it, I burst into tears and so did she and we ran out of the classroom.Em had never been with really disabled kids and that was my fault for trying to make her the so called normal kid of today, she eventually settled there and it turned out to be the best thing we ever did for her, she blossomed into a bright young lady with confidence and a sense of humour we should all have.It took many years for me to get over having Em, but I eventually did and am so glad I have her in my life, it has been hard, but the good times outway the bad ones and I would nt change her for the world now.
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
When you are going to have a baby, its like you,re planning a vacation in Italy.
You,re all excited.
You get a whole bunch of guide books, you learn a few phrases in Italian so you can get around, and then it comes-time to pack your bags and head off for the airport-for Italy.
Only when you land, the stewardess says,
“Welcome to Holland”.
You look at one another in disbelief and shock, saying “Holland?
What are you talking about?I signed up for Italy”.
But they explain theres been a change of plans and you.ve landed in Holland, and there you must stay.
“But I dont want to stay, you say.
But you stay.You go out and buy new guide books, you learn some new phrases and you meet people you never knew existed.The important thing is that you are not in a filthy, plague-infested slum full of pestilence and famine.You are simply in a different place than you had planned.
Its slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy, but after you.ve been there a little while and you have had a chance to catch your breath, you begin to discover that Holland has windmills.Holland has Tulips.Holland has Rembrandts.
But everyone else is still busy coming and going from Italy.
They,re all bragging about what a great time they had there and for the rest of your life, you will say, “Yes, thats what I had planned”.
The pain of that will never, ever go away.
You have to accept that pain, because if you spend the rest of your life mourning the fact that you never got to Italy, you will never be free to enjoy the very special, the very loveley things that Holland has to offer.
By Emily Perl Kingsley.
That poem sums it up really, all kids are different and they are all good at some things and not others, we all need to accept what we have been given and enjoy it as best we can.
Recently Em made a new friend here in Lanzarote, she is a very sweet girl who is much younger than Em, but has become her friend, Ems new friend asked me why Em was like she was and I tried to explain she was different and the girl said well Im different as well, as I have brown skin and I cant do what older kids do.
That was that, she accepted it, why cant we all be like that little girl and stay like it, the world would be a better place if we could.
Caroline Crane- a very proud mother.
